Are You Overthinking ? In Support of Breathing

Do you lie awake at night thinking of everything that’s happened that day and wondering what’s going to happen tomorrow? 

Are you finding it difficult to remember things?

Do you worry constantly about conversations and actions far longer than is helpful? 

Do you get stuck weighing the pros and cons to the point of being unable to decide?

Answering yes to even one of these questions could mean that that you are ‘overthinking'.

                      Most of us do this at some point.  Some of us do it much too often.        

Thinking about the things that could go wrong when going to a job interview, or an exam or a driving test. We all know the numerous possible scenarios – you may want to talk to someone you don’t know well at an event but as soon as the thought enters your mind, you just can’t help thinking about how the situation could suddenly spiral into chaos. What if you trip up as you walk over to them and everyone else turns to look? What if they don’t like you and they’ve told others they don’t like you, and now everyone at the event feels the same?

It’s very unlikely that this will happen, but our brains convince us it’s the most likely result. 

When making important decisions, there's obviously a need to be cautious - though some of us, find this difficult too and make decisions which others might call 'rash'. 

But overthinking can happen even when making small, otherwise meaningless choices. You might even convince yourself that thinking about something for a really long time is the answer to finding an answer but that’s usually not the case. Maybe you’ve wasted countless hours trying to decide what to wear to that job interview and as a result, you didn’t spend any time preparing your responses. The longer you think about something, the less time and energy you might have to take productive action. But before we can put an end to overthinking, we have to recognize when we are doing it.

Rumination - overthinking - involves repetitive, excessive thoughts which interfere with other types of thinking. It is as stressful as it is common, taking a situation which has already caused stress and magnifying the stress as well as the importance of the situation in our mind.

• Reflection: The reflection part of rumination can actually be helpful as reflecting on a problem can lead to a simple solution. Also, reflecting on particular events can help process strong emotions associated with the issue.
• Brooding: Rumination in general, and brooding in particular, are associated with less proactive behaviour and more of a negative mood.

We do not have the ability to change what has already happened.  We cannot re-create a situation in the future and respond with the perfect response or solution, and this can make us feel powerless and stressed. Realising how much energy we have used over thinking can lead to even more feelings of frustration as the cycle of confused thoughts continues.

Co - rumination, where you rehash a situation with others until you've talked it to its limits, also brings more stress to both parties, once it has passed the point of being constructive.

Constantly replaying something in your mind, dwelling on what you should have said or done without taking any corresponding action, makes you feel more stressed, and you are also likely to experience other negative effects.

So why obsess over things? It seems that different people obsess for different reasons, and some people are more prone to it than others. Not surprisingly, over-thinking has a negative effect by producing a more depressed, unhappy mood. Not only is this unpleasant in itself, but this negative frame of mind can bring a whole new set of consequences. Once we start to obsess over these negative outcomes, we are leaving less space in our heads for any potential positive results.

                                         

           If you are thinking about something for a long time, to the point that you are you are putting a stop to everything else in your life, clearly, overthinking is more destructive than productive.

So,what to do?                                                                                                                   

It is easy for anyone to make what might seem like glib suggestions such as 'go for a walk', 'get a hobby', 'talk to someone', 'stop trying to be perfect' - but speaking from much personal experience, I know that these are solutions. Each time it seems that you are about to start overthinking, take a quick walk outside. This enables you to breathe in fresh air which can help you lower your anxiety and stress. Since walking is a form of exercise, and 'happy' hormones are produced, anxiety and stress levels are reduced almost immediately. You also need something to distract your mind, to prevent overthinking. For me, walking (preferably with dogs) is the perfect distraction in itself as I love to be outdoors, often to the point of not being able to bear being inside - but it has to be appreciated that every person is different and for others, doing crosswords, listening to music, reading, playing a game on your phone or cooking a meal is a perfect distraction. As long as whatever you choose is something that you enjoy and it occupies your mind, so that it can't overthink.                                                            

The instruction to "talk to someone" is generally given as a remedy for overthinking, though again this depends on the type of person you are and your personality traits. Personally, I feel I often talk too much, analysing every situation, which I then discuss with my family, which can then bring on more unnecessary thinking. Of course, talking to people is life and mood enhancing in general, and individual situations need to be taken into account. Most people want their lives to be perfect. Well, that's not going to happen so dreaming of a life which is full of ups and no downs is detrimental to our health. Focussing on what can be changed is a better aim, because as it is said, life is a journey and not a destination.

Sometimes I feel as though I have spent at least half of my life, 'practising breathing' (or 'focussing on the breath' as it is usually called in Yoga and meditation practices)  Sounds silly as surely I have been breathing for all of my life - and I admit that there have been times when I have been unable to put into practice the advice which was being given to me - chill out, calm down, focus on one thing at a time, be mindful, meditate. I have berated myself since for believing that these things might work for others but not for me. I have felt that I could teach it effectively to others, as I have studied the techniques at length, but that it was no benefit to me at the time. I now know that the reason for my thinking this way was because the overthinking, anxiety, depression, or whatever we name it, had taken over me. 

My overthinking/ anxiety/bad days have not disappeared completely, in fact as I write I am just recovering from a couple of those unpleasant times. But I know that the tips, advice and suggestions given here do work, and are well worth practising as often as you can. Good luck.

Take a deep breath expanding your belly to a count of 4 ...  ... ... Hold the breath for a count of 2 ... ... ... Exhale fully to a count of 4. And repeat.

Please feel to share this article where appropriate and I welcome comments in the section below. Perhaps we can help other over-thinking people as well as ourselves.