Saturday, 8 March 2008

Want to know a secret ?

Anyone seen the film “Away From Her”?
A couple appear to have had a perfect marriage for over 44 years but have their feelings tested when the wife starts to suffer from Alzheimer’s and has to be moved to a nursing home. She seems to lose all memory of her husband and begins to develop a romance with another nursing home resident.
As time passes, in a brief moment of lucidity, it is revealed that the wife has always known that her husband had an affair with one of his students many years ago. She questions why he tried to keep it secret and he wonders if she has really lost her memory of him or if she is trying to punish him.
Do we need secrets? Is there ever a good enough reason to keep something from someone because we think it may hurt them? The truth usually comes out somehow, and when it does it is often more hurtful that, in effect, a “lie” has been told through omission. I am guilty of telling too much, which in itself can cause friction – I appreciate that not everyone feels the need to talk about their every thought and action and in fact there is often no need. It’s just the way that I am.
But when does not telling becoming untruthful, and when does being truthful become too much information? What does anyone think?