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Showing posts from November, 2015

Verbalising the Feelings

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Awakening each day from drug induced sleep, the terrors of the night scroll through your brain as you begin to surface from the torpor of semi-consciousness. Each fragment of the dormant state that whiled away some hours in physical inactivity begins it's struggle to be foremost in this heightening of lucidity. Your ability to become fully alert restricted by a lethargy that lingers till each wave of worry starts it's journey heightening the sense of dread, without clear reason. A longing to return to sleep becomes unbearable with each grasping, clinging thought, yet what the coming horrors may be stay hidden in the recesses of the soul.

Three and a half days later and The Black Dawg

So, after my post on Sunday declaring that I would blog daily on this issue which has taken over my life recently (again) here we are on Thursday with no sign of a further post since the declaration. Under the guise of "positivity", I will not refer further to this lack of achievement on my part, this week. It is after all a symptom of the condition I find myself in. It is also a symptom, which easily becomes a norm, to castigate oneself for every action and inaction that plants itself in the mind. This is neither healthy nor helpful, though almost inevitable, unfortunately. Further positive thinking which my brain is allowing me to verbalise, is that the medication that I was prescribed a week ago has clearly had a major impact on me and the desired and hoped for effect is obvious - to my family and to me. Being made to feel "useful" by picking up my grandchildren from school and helping with a bedroom blitz at my daughter's house has also been productive

Returning to Medication (after stupidly stopping it )

"Anxiety is one of the most prevalent mental health problems in the UK and elsewhere, yet it is still under-reported, under-diagnosed and under-treated. The experience of anxiety often involves interconnected symptoms and disorders. It is estimated that one in four people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year, while one in six experience a neurotic disorder such as anxiety or depression. Anxiety disorders are also estimated to affect 3.3% of children and young adults in the UK. "    mentalhealth.org.uk Worrying statistics, for anyone not suffering anxiety, let alone those who are. Any long term reader(s) of this, sporadic blog will know that on numerous occasions since I began this, 8 or 9 years ago, there have been times when I have posted about not being able to write, or even think clearly due to my "mental state"  or me being "bad with my nerves" as my grandmother's condition was described back in those days. My anxie