Awakening each day from drug induced sleep,
the terrors of the night scroll through your brain
as you begin to surface from the torpor
Each fragment of the dormant state
that whiled away some hours in physical inactivity
begins it's struggle to be foremost in this heightening
Your ability to become fully alert
restricted by a lethargy that lingers till each wave of worry starts it's journey
heightening the sense of dread,
without clear reason.
A longing to return to sleep
becomes unbearable with each grasping, clinging thought,
yet what the coming horrors may be
stay hidden in the recesses of the soul.
Tuesday, 10 November 2015
Thursday, 5 November 2015
So, after my post on Sunday declaring that I would blog daily on this issue which has taken over my life recently (again) here we are on Thursday with no sign of a further post since the declaration.
Under the guise of "positivity", I will not refer further to this lack of achievement on my part, this week. It is after all a symptom of the condition I find myself in. It is also a symptom, which easily becomes a norm, to castigate oneself for every action and inaction that plants itself in the mind. This is neither healthy nor helpful, though almost inevitable, unfortunately.Further positive thinking which my brain is allowing me to verbalise, is that the medication that I was prescribed a week ago has clearly had a major impact on me and the desired and hoped for effect is obvious - to my family and to me.
Being made to feel "useful" by picking up my grandchildren from school and helping with a bedroom blitz at my daughter's house has also been productive in the psychological sense as well as the physical. A day out shopping with lunch and a long walk with the dogs accompanied by a very supportive and empathetic person (you know who you are ) have all added to the better feelings I have now. Not exactly all at peace with my world, but definately a massive improvement on last week when nothing could be done at all because of the crying. I have even considered wearing again the mascara that was in no way whatsoever waterproof.
Of course we need to keep occupied but I am convinced that my mind needed a rest, which is what a combination of medication and "people support" is doing for me.
As I continue to take the medication and improve, readers might like to read this post written by Louis Mcintosh, for Huffington Post "What they don't tell you about depression". Louis is the writer and Kathryn Hockey the illustrator on a project called 'The Black Dawg' which is an illustrated poem about depression.
Useful and informative - try the mental health charity website here Mind ,
Sunday, 1 November 2015
"Anxiety is one of the most prevalent mental health problems in the UK and elsewhere, yet it is still under-reported, under-diagnosed and under-treated.
The experience of anxiety often involves interconnected symptoms and disorders. It is estimated that one in four people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year, while one in six experience a neurotic disorder such as anxiety or depression. Anxiety disorders are also estimated to affect 3.3% of children and young adults in the UK. " mentalhealth.org.uk