Sunday, 27 May 2012

PPPHHHEEEW - hot isn't it ? (observations from a 54 yr old gimmer ))

It's probably just me but I'm not that unique. 

I am old'ish though and most things get on my nerves most of the time. I get on my nerves most of the time so I do sympathise with everyone else on this.
So,the sun is shining,there's hardly a cloud in the sky and it's definately hot. Great ! In this country we're always waiting for hot weather and when it comes we try to make the most it. 


But the things that people do and 'rituals' we seem to go through are irksome, you must agree. Firstly BBQ's. I mean, why ?  
Can anyone really say that they have tasted a beefburger, sausage or chicken drumstick that has been barbequeued and tasted better than one done in the kitchen in a frying pan or even under the grill ?  OK if you like food burnt to a cinder or black on the outside and soggy in the middle, then fine. You go ahead. And all that preparation !  Either pouring 3 bottles of lighter fluid on a few charcoals or lugging a great object from the bottom of the garden where it has been stood all winter and the cover (which cost almost as much as  the bbq) is covered in dead leaves and bird crap that needs to be cleaned before you start. That's to cook outside on gas when you have a perfectly reasonable gas cooker in the house. Maybe someone can enlighten me on the joys of this.
Then there's the males of our species who take off their tee shirt at the first opportunity and walk around the streets barechested with the shirt in their hand or slung over one shoulder or sometimes tucked in the waist of their shorts or jeans. No thanks. I was told the other day not to look, but I don't think that's my responsibility.
Some females, of all ages, might as well take their whole top off too for the amount of cleavage, bare back and stomach that  they have on show. Complete with flabby thighs and varicose veined legs ... gross. If you want to expose bare sweaty flesh, please do it in the privacy of your own home or garden - and in the case of my home, only do it if you are getting in and out of the bath or shower or going to bed.
Then there's the screaming kids bouncing constantly on trampolines and jumping into paddling pools, doing a You've Been Framed and wondering how they've ended up with 2 black eyes and a broken arm from diving into 4 inches of water. The pool itself is a nightmare. Takes half the morning to fill it up then the kids moan it's too cold to get in it and you have to ferry kettle fulls of hot water to make it 85 degrees plus. They were complaining you were too hot and now the water's too cold !
When you at last get yourself settled in the shade to read the paper or your "summer book" with a nice cool drink all the neighbours get out their lawnmowers, strimmers and hedgecutters and start playing music (that should be in inverted commas too) loud enough to be heard over the top of the machinery. It's bedlam.


Like I said, it's probably just me, but I'm taking no chances today. As it has also been forecast that today 27th May is The End Of Days...again .... I am going to find the highest, loneliest mountain that the car will climb and sit on the top.
And I'm taking a picnic of cold, uncooked, unsmoked food.


Have a lovely Sunday - I intend to.